Aspergers affects behavior, personality and the way a person interacts with others. As female kids with Aspergers become adults, they may often feel isolated because they react differently to situations with which they are presented. Their comments may seem mean and uncaring, when in reality, they don’t understand the concept of empathy. Adult females with Aspergers look for companionship with other adult females who have the same behavior patterns and outlook, and they are doubly affected by the stigma of autism because, being females, they have emotions with which they don’t know how to cope.
The symptoms of Aspergers in adult females and girls are usually displayed in a more subtle manner, which results in missed or incorrect professional diagnoses, a lack of access to special education services and provisions in school, and a greater chance of social and emotional problems in adulthood. Several distinct differences exist in regard to the ways that female kids and male kids with Aspergers behave.
Female kids with Aspergers are not often aggressive when they get frustrated; rather, they tend to be withdrawn and can easily “fly under the radar” in classrooms and other social environments. Girls with Aspergers are also able to express their emotions in a calmer way than their male counterparts. Female kids with Aspergers are often protected and nurtured by their “non-Aspergers” friends, who help them cope with difficult social situations. Acceptance from peers can sometimes mask the issues that these kids have so that they are not recognized by educators and moms/dads. As a result, adults are less likely to suggest psychological and social evaluations for young female Aspies.
There are certain personality traits and symptoms that moms and dads, educators, and professionals can look for if they suspect that a young girl or woman may have Aspergers. Female kids with the disorder often display obsessive tendencies in regard to animals, dolls, and other female-oriented interests. While “non-Aspergers” females will play with dolls by pretending that they are interacting socially, female kids with Aspergers may collect dolls and not use them to engage socially with other kids. Their fascination with certain subjects can lead to them lagging behind their peers in terms of maturity and age-appropriate behavior. For example, a pre-teen with Aspergers may be fascinated with stuffed animals or cartoons long after other peers her age have outgrown these things.
Female Aspies may be mistakenly assumed to have a personality disorder because they mimic typical kids, but use phrases inappropriately. They tend to be bored with others their age and have difficulty empathizing with their peers’ worries or problems. While their behaviors are more passive than those typical of males with Aspergers, adults who pay close attention to female kids with social and emotional delays can ensure that proper diagnosis and treatment will take place. The younger a child is when she begins to receive the appropriate speech, occupational, and psychological services for Aspergers kids, the greater likelihood she will have of living an independent and functional adult life. Aspergers in adult females is most successfully addressed through consistent professional support.
Other Aspergers symptoms if females include:
• Communication Difficulties— A girl with Aspergers finds that social communication does not come easily. She must struggle to find topics to talk about that will interest her peers. She often attempts to mimic the interests, behavior and body language of others in an attempt to fit in. Many female Aspies become quite adept at this mimicking, causing them to elude diagnosis and treatment throughout life. A girl with Aspergers who does not mimic others appears shy and socially awkward. Her body language is different from her peers and she seems oblivious to the body language of others. Her voice may lack inflection, and she may show no happiness at the good fortune of others.
• Emotional Outbursts— It may be easier to identify males as having Aspergers because they express their feelings and frustrations through emotional outbursts, which are more obvious to the observer, whereas female kids with Aspergers may be more likely to internalize their emotions and feelings, and experience inward or passive signs of aggression. These certain gender-related behaviors might be part of the reason that fewer female kids are diagnosed with Aspergers.
• Fantasy— Female Aspies are intrigued with fantasies that include magical kingdoms, princesses and other fairy tale elements. It is possible that the princess fantasies are given little notice because female kids are more prone to this type of imaginary fantasy and play; therefore, these fantasies are not used as criteria in diagnosing Aspie girls.
• Highly Intelligent— Girls with Aspergers may be less talkative than other females their age. Asperger kids are highly intelligent, but like their autistic counterparts, possess poor language skills. Communication and interaction with other kids may be difficult. Female Aspies may strive to learn as much as they can, even though social interaction is limited. Most kids who are socially active have no problem learning in a group setting, whereas Aspie girls may want to study and learn on their own. The desire to learn continues through adolescence and into adulthood.
• Inflexibility— An girl with Aspergers may be inflexible about her daily routine. She may want to eat the same meal each day and avoid food that has touched other food on her plate. She may arrange her toys a certain way on the shelf, perform the same grooming ritual each day and become upset by any change in her schedule.
• Obsessional Interests— Obsessional interests are another indicator of Aspergers. The child may talk incessantly about her topic of interest or spend the majority of her free time studying it or playing with it. A girl with Aspergers is more likely to have interests that are common to healthy females, whereas a male is more likely to have an unusual interest. For example, a girl may be obsessed with horses, while a boy may be obsessed with AAA batteries. This highly focused interest can prove helpful or harmful. For example, a strong interest in math can help a girl function well in school, while an interest in dolls may cause her to not focus on schoolwork and to eventually bore her friends.
• Repetitive Behaviors— The girl with Aspergers may exhibit repetitive behaviors such as hand-flapping, pacing, stomping, blinking or finger-tapping. These may become more obvious when she is stressed. Even when she is made aware of these behaviors, she is unable to control them.
• Socially Awkward— Inability to communicate and physical clumsiness will put young Aspies at a disadvantage from the very beginning. They may seem disinterested and aloof. Asperger kids have difficulty understanding slang and humor. They may seem out of place and will not make friends easily. As Asperger kids grow into teens, many find ways to adapt, and their differences don’t seem as pronounced.